Outside the falafel shop


For two days it rained. Unseasonably, I should say. “Yes, the weather is changing,” people nod, as if the climate were a football team, or someone else’s hair. But the rain was welcome. The air was crisp today and yesterday and outside the city the hills are greener by a notch. Everyone seems a little brighter. Our outlines feel less hazy. Of course the dust is already coming back. In the meantime, delightful things are showing up in gutters. 



late afternoon, Umm al Kheir, about a week ago

Washing the Sheep

Umm al Khair, May 1

Happy Easter


"It's difficult to tell the truth, since there is only one truth, but that truth is alive and therefore has a lively, changing face."

—Kafka, Letters to Milena



I was going to write a sort of love poem to Los Angeles. I’m leaving soon and getting sentimental. The other day I was walking on Fourth Street and I shot this image. There were two men sleeping on the sidewalk behind me. Not sleeping yet, but arranging their cardboard and blankets, settling in for the night. I got on the Red Line at Pershing Square and jotted down a few bad lines of goodbye about how you—and by you I mean L.A.—have no soul and no mercy and you break my heart again and again and you are mainly very ugly except at night but I love you most when the sun is highest. I didn’t finish it. I’m glad about that. This evening I drove up Micheltorena and over the hill and back again. On an errand, not for fun, but the sun was setting on my way over and it had set by the time I was on my way back and suddenly off to my left I could see downtown spread out beneath me in the purple half light and all those corporate towers were sparkling with their lights on and I couldn’t breathe for a second it was so beautiful. And I don’t know how to hold onto that awe at the cruel and utter gorgeousness of this place while knowing every breathing second that it is beyond fucked up. Sometimes the finer adjectives won’t do. I drove down Micheltorena to Sunset and then turned to the east, KDAY on the radio, speeding towards the next red light, falling into that easy L.A. traffic-samadi groove. I parked in Chinatown, on a side street. Just before I got out of the car I saw a flash. A red-shirted security guard in the employ of the local Business Improvement District was snapping photos of an elderly man sitting on a bench, his possessions in a cart beside him. I made sure my phone’s the flash was turned on, got out of the car and took his picture. He didn’t like it. Words ensued. I won't elaborate except to say that the high point was when I said something like "You're harassing this man" and the red-shirt said something like "I'm not harassing him. Sir, am I harassing you?" and the old man said something like, "Yes, he's harassing me. Motherfucker." I thought of posting the photos here but they're blurry and not nice to look at and I don’t see the point of shaming someone with a shit job who already knows that what he does is beyond fucked up. So no sweet goodbye, L.A. You know how fucked up you are. When I got back to my car a few hours later the old man was still there on the bench, sitting up, asleep.